A College Prayer: Somebody to Love
by Failing Grace
Summary: An AU story; the Marauders are all in college. It's their third year there and Remus is really starting to wonder if he'll ever find anybody to love. Already dealing with karaoke bars, fist fights, and psychology class, can he find courage to tell him?


A/N:

Well hello. So this spawned off of a Writer's Block in one of my other stories [and listening to Queen during an eighteen hour road trip], but it's basically it's the Marauder Era people in normal college life. :3

It's slash/BL or whatever the heck you people would like to call it. GHEY, people. Mm'kay? Right.

Pairings: Remus x Sirius; a little of: Sirius x Lame OC, Lily x James, and Severus x Lucius.

* * *

James is ale.

Sirius is beer.

Peter is gin.

Lily is daiquiri.

They think I'm wine. But I wouldn't say that.

Remus is _rum_.

I know it sounds strange, but that's what I am. I hate to admit it, but after listening to the love making of my best friend and God-knows-Who for the past three and a half years of my life, I've become quite the alcoholic. It helps with trying to forget that I like him. It wasn't as bad in high school, I knew I couldn't like him; it wasn't the norm. But once we got to college and he started dating almost everyone, that's when things got worse. Straight up rum, that's me.

But we've gone out tonight, so that means just a coke… with some spiced rum in it. (Of course, the others don't know that.) And, obviously it doesn't taste as good as the regular stuff… but rum was still rum, even if it was adulterated by that sickeningly sweet, carbonated shit that everyone seemed to be in love with.

At last, I had a moment to steal away from the rest of them, something about karaoke— and there was no way I was doing that. No one was going to hear _my_ voice singing along to whatever one-hit wonders that the karaoke bar had to offer.

"What can I get you?"

I bit down on my lip, contemplating for a moment. Just one shot of the pure stuff wouldn't hurt, right? "Shot of rum, please."

* * *

_"Where'd Remus go?" Sirius asked, glancing around the tables. There were several at the foot of the stage, each party waiting in anticipation for the first karaoke singer._

_James shrugged, frowning after taking a sip of Lily's peach and lime daiquiri "Shit, Lily! How can you drink this?" Without waiting for her to comment back, he looked at Sirius. "Dunno… bathroom, I think he said."_

_This made the raven haired young man wrinkle his nose. "He's been gone a while, though…"_

_"He's a big boy; he can take care of himself." James said, glancing up as the lights above the stage came on._

_The redhead finally reclaimed her daiquiri, sipping on it calmly. "Just go check on him then. Maybe he's not feeling good. You know how the smoke in here usually gets to his head."_

_Nodding, Sirius got to his feet, winding his way through the labyrinth of people in the bar._

_Minutes had passed since he left, and Lily and James sat staring at the stage, trying not to cringe when Peter tried to hit the high notes. '_YMCA_' had never sounded so bad; even the booze hadn't taken away from its horridness. When, at last— thank God, the song had ended, the two of them acquired false smiles and gave the slightly plump young man a small round of applause._

_"Brilliant!" James said, lying through his teeth._

_Nodding, Lily took a few more sips of her drink. 'Great, now we're missing Remus _and_ Sirius.'_

* * *

I had absolutely no idea how I had found my way up here.

Okay, scratch that. I knew exactly how I ended up on the karaoke stage.

While one little shot glass had lead to a second, then a third, one of my friends had found me. No, none of those friends, but Severus. He's majoring in psychology, so he's TA-ing for my intermediate psych class; which means he gets to use all of his psychological mumbo-jumbo on me, without me noticing. And this little ritual of his happened while he found me becoming more and more intoxicated.

I had felt a hand on my shoulder before I watched half miserably, half furious as my shot glass was taken away. I was about to tell off this intruder, that is, until I had noticed it was Severus. A smile flashed across my lips as I cried "Severus! You're not at school! What are you doing here?"

"What are _you_ doing _here_?" He asked, motioning to the bar; of course, I had been referring to the bar in general.

The smile faded at once. "Oh… he's… uhh…" I fiddled with the corner of my napkin, the words trapped inside of me. "It's just… he's got… ano—…" I couldn't finish.

Nodding, Severus offered, "Another one?" After seeing me nod, he went on. "Girl?" I shook my head. "Is he here with you all?" I shook my head again. "I still think you should tell him."

A bitter laugh was the only answer my secret keeper received, as my mind slowly wandered elsewhere.

This going-to-be psychology major was the only person who knew of my affection for my best friend. He had ended up 'diving into my unconscious psyche', as he had called it, or in other words, he had just ended up fooling me into telling him. Severus had handed it rather well, much better than I thought he would. Out of pity, I suppose, for pumping me for info, he confided that he was in love with Lily… but I could swear, the way I would some times see him staring at Lucius, our student teacher, it would remind me of how I often looked at Sirius; that explained the understanding.

"Remus, really… how do you know he won't like you back? You need to tell him, or you'll never know. And it's not like he's even straight, either; he's _bi_! So what's stopping you?"

"Knowing he won't like me," I replied flatly, trying to reclaim my glass.

Moving it out of my reach, he glared at me with his icy jade eyes. "And how do you know that?"

"Because I'm a pessimistic bastard with a cold, bitter outlook on life."

It seemed like I had won that round, because he didn't argue back. He shoved the glass back at me, which I gladly welcomed and thought he might actually drop the subject.

However, good ol' Sev doesn't drop anything; "You should sing it to him!" He had said it with such enthusiasm that I almost choked on my mouthful of alcohol.

"W-What?" I coughed out.

He nodded his head toward the area that I had escaped from earlier. Now that I was listening, some one was singing— terribly off-key, I noted, but nevertheless, still singing. "Nuh-uh. No way. Not ever." I was not singing, especially about how I felt.

"What if I told Lily how I felt?"

This piqued my interest at once. The topic of our affections were most often touched upon, each of us urging the other to confess his feelings. "You mean it?" I asked, running a hand through my hair.

He nodded. "Yeah, so, what you'll need to do is sing this—" Severus had gone off into some very elaborate scheme to get me on stage. He had mentioned a Queen song, so I was pretty much hooked for the plan; Queen was my second way of coping. I mean, it was like Freddie Mercury was the beacon of light for all of us queer guys in the eighties.

So, there I was; the lights blinding me and the microphone desperately clutched in both of my hands. "Can anybody find me somebody to love?" My voice was shaky, but still there. The teleprompter noted the piano part, which would soon subside and begin into the first verse of the song; but I didn't need the help. I knew the words by heart.

* * *

_They had informed Peter of their two missing-in-action friends and now all three of them sat, looking around for some traces of the boys. Besides, it wasn't as if there was anything else to pay attention to; the karaoke singers had been rather painful to listen to._

_"Each morning I get up I die a little, can barely stand on my feet. Take a look in the mirror and cry 'Lord, what're you doing to me…? I've spent all my years in believing you, but I just can't get no relief, Lord!' Somebody, somebody… can anybody find me somebody to love?"_

_How well the song was being sung was surprising, so surprising, that the group looked towards the stage. Peter dropped his almost empty glass, James started choking on his sip of ale, and Lily's jaw dropped._

_"Remus?" They asked in a hushed tone; but apparently it was not as hushed as they thought, because a few neighboring tables 'shushed' them. They exchanged glances before they finally spoke again._

_"I thought he wasn't going to sing!" Peter said, his eyebrows raised in surprise._

_James shook his head. "Who the hell cares! He's _good_! He almost sounds like Mercury! When the hell did this happen?"_

_It was Lily who shushed them this time. She listened, seeming to look past the quality of Remus' singing. Why this song? Hadn't he always insisted that he was fine by himself and had declined dates she had set up for him several times?_

_"I work hard every day of my life, I work till I ache my bones. At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own— I get down on my knees and start to pray—"_

_It was then that Lily noticed Remus' gaze hadn't moved for some time. She followed his stare until it fell on none other than Sirius Black. Then it clicked. She let out a small understanding 'oh', before taking another long drink of her daiquiri; she was going to need it._

* * *

Why had I even bothered to come up here? Sure, I had been doing fine— good even— but now I was stuck there, my gaze frozen on my best friend. I couldn't read his face and that was a definite first; I could always read him. "'Till the tears run down from my eyes; Lord— somebody, ooh somebody… can anybody find me somebody to love?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw some one join me on the stage. "He works hard," Lily sung, at last allowing my gaze to wander to her. It was like God did answer my plea for help; this redheaded angel was saving me from myself. She gave me a reassuring smile, as if she was saying 'Go on, tell him'. How did she know?

"Everyday— I try and I try and I try—" I felt a sudden wave of confidence wash over me, knowing Lily was on my side for this. And as my voice instructor had said, when I had been going through singing lessons, 'You have to feel the music', and I did. I drew the microphone closer to my face, daringly throwing my other arm out to the side. "But everybody wants to put me down; they say I'm going crazy; they say I got a lot of water in my brain, got no common sense, I got nobody left to believe!"

As Lily sang a few short 'yeah's, I let my eyes wander across the attentive crowd, hesitating on Sirius' face, which I now noted, looked annoyed. The guitar part began and Lily took a few steps closer, leaning towards my ear. "Sing it like you mean it, Remus… show him how much you want him."

A large blush spread through my cheeks; so she did know. But she was right, I did want him… I just had to sing it like I meant it. "Somebody, somebody, can anybody find me somebody to love?" Lily came in mostly repeating what I had been singing, but she wasn't bad; she sounded like she was a little unsure of herself, but she was good. "Got no feel, I got no rhythm; I just keep losing my beat. I'm okay, I'm all right. Ain't going to face no defeat; I just gotta get out of this prison cell, someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!" I had raised my arm above my head, before going into a long round of 'ooh's while Lily repeatedly sang:

"Find me somebody to love."

What surprised me most was that people had begun clapping along to the song, some were even standing and singing with us. Maybe this wasn't such a lost cause after all. "Can anybody find me somebody to love?" I had hit the note perfectly and had somehow had just enough air to sing it just as long as Freddie Mercury did. And for anyone who knew the song, the whole last minute or so, was just a constant repeat of the last refrain. And, finally, "Anybody, anywhere, anybody find me somebody to lo-oh-oh-oh-ve? Find me, find me, find me… love."

The crowd exploded into applause; the feeling was better than I remembered. I let out a breath I hadn't know I had been holding and Lily turned and smiled at me. I couldn't believe I had managed to get through a five minute song. However, when I looked back into the sea of faces, I saw a retreating figure that I knew so well; my heart fell into my stomach.

* * *

_Lily had hugged him before they took a bow; then she walked off the stage, expecting him to be with her when they got to the table. However, when she turned back to once more congratulate him, she saw that he was still by the stage, a large crowd around him. A ripple of light laughter came from her lips as she sat down._

_"What was that?" James practically yelled. "Since when did either of you sing? You were both bloody brilliant!" His mug of ale was still in his hand and he was swinging it around as he spoke, the alcohol sloshing onto the table._

_Peter grinned, "You both were better than brilliant!"_

_She thanked them, trying to convince them she only did it for Remus, who really deserved all of the credit. A frown began pulling on the corner of her lips. "Where's Sirius?"_

_"He said he was getting a headache and wanted to get some air…" Peter replied, half-heartedly as he watched a group of girls go by._

_"Oh," Lily said, glancing back at Remus. He didn't look nearly as happy as he did when he had just finished the song._

_Another hour hand passed; Remus had mostly been pulled on and off the karaoke stage by different groups of people, being persuaded into singing several more Queen songs. Sirius had eventually returned, and looked none too pleased to be listening to a certain honey blonde singing. When at last Lily had decided that James had had enough to drink, Peter went to reclaim Remus while Sirius and Lily helped James out to the car._

_Needless to say, the ride back to campus was deathly quiet._

* * *

After helping Lily sneak James into her dorm— knowing in her infinite wisdom, that James would no doubt have a hangover tomorrow—, we came back to our dorm, once more, all in silence. I thought I was going to go crazy. However, just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. When we had gotten inside, Matt, Sirius' new boyfriend, came bounding up to us, all smiling and cute… I wanted to punch him in the face.

I wasn't jealous. Matt was a little taller than I was, with a cute face and an ass that could have made a girl jealous. His hair was always perfect and his crystal blue eyes seemed to go so well with Sirius' stormy gray ones. Oh no, I wasn't jealous… I was far beyond that.

"How was karaoke?" He asked, trying to snuggle up to Sirius, even thought they were both standing.

A frown appeared on my friend's lips as he had asked the question; Sirius then insisted that Peter should get Matt something to eat.

I rolled my eyes as they both agreed in some sickeningly sweet way. I should probably try to get to sleep before the whole bed-creaking, moaning-shit started. As I began walking away, I felt a hand grab my shoulder, forcing me to look back its owner.

"What the hell was that?" He asked, glaring at me.

I blankly returned the glare, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know god damn well what I'm talking about!" He looked angry, but his eyes were pleading for an answer.

I certainly wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing. Shrugging out of his grasp, I began heading back to our room. It was when my hand was on the doorknob, he spoke again, although, this time, his voice carried no anger to it.

"Why _that_ song?"

Hesitating, I told myself all the reasons why it was that song, and realized how pissed I was at him for not getting it. I thought I'd have enough control to just continue on into our room, but the next thing I knew, I had flipped him off, and had slammed the door shut behind me.

I was almost asleep when I heard the door slam. It was one of several I had heard, trying to fall asleep. 'Great,' I thought, rolling over. 'Time for another round of fuck the freshman…' It was quiet for a moment and then something hit me hard in the face. I sat up, switching on the lamp. "What the hell?" I demanded, picking up the paperback dictionary that had been thrown at me. I threw it back, the book hit him in the shoulder; he didn't seem to notice.

"Why that song, Remus?" He growled, striding over to my bed and glaring down at me.

Without the given circumstances, I probably would have been thrilled at this prospect, but I was still far too furious to feel anything remotely like that. "Why do you think, Sirius?" I asked sarcastically, getting out of bed. So, all right, compared to this fully dressed, six foot two, black-haired man, I probably looked as intimidating as a poodle. I stood at only five seven and a half, and was dressed in only my boxers.

"Why won't you fucking tell me? Would it kill you to give me a straight up answer?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't you have your boyfriend to fuck or something?"

His eyes narrowed and the next thing I knew, his fist was colliding with my face, and I was toppling over my bed. When I had managed to get my bearings, I stood up shakily, pulling a sweatshirt from a pile of clothes in the corner of the room. My face was throbbing; it felt like my cheekbone was on fire.

It seemed like only now Sirius had managed to realize he had hit me. "Oh, god, Remus, sorry… wait, where are you go—"

I didn't want to hear it. I slammed the door to our room, pulling the sweatshirt over my head as I stormed towards the door.

Peter looked up from the desk he was sitting at, no doubt doing some late night cramming for tomorrow. "Remus? Where are you going?"

I hadn't gotten a chance to answer; Sirius had followed me out. "Remus! Wait! I'm sorry!"

I needed to get out. I needed to go. I needed to be anywhere by here. As soon as I had opened the front door, I turned right, running as fast as my legs would carry me. It was a few minutes until I paused, wondering where I would go. However, I only had a few moments to gather my thoughts, before I heard the sound of some one running; I already knew who it was.

"Would you just listen to me?"

"No!" I shouted before taking off again. Now, I was at the disadvantage; his legs were longer than mine were and he was catching up to me. As a desperate attempt to lose him, I turned a sharp corner, running straight into Lucius Malfoy.

He steadied me, holding my arms firm in his hands. "Remus?" He asked, looking confused.

I panted, staring up at him with wild, desperate eyes. I didn't need to ask for help; everything about me seemed to scream it. I scurried around him, my shaky hands desperately clinging to his jacket.

It was only a moment before Sirius came around the corner, stopping at the sight of the student teacher.

"Isn't it past your curfew, young man?" Lucius' voice was cold and hard as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Sirius ignored his question. "Remus… come back, will you?"

I pressed myself closer to the fair blonde man, hoping I would just disappear. I didn't want to go back.

"It's obvious that he doesn't want to, so I suggest you go back to your room before I have to write you up."

"You want to try, Malfoy?" He growled, taking a step towards him.

I had forgotten they knew each other. Lucius had been on-and-off dating Sirius' cousin, Cissy, and Sirius couldn't stand Lucius, her, or her sister, Bella.

"Do you really want to take that risk, Sirius?" His voice carried such a blatant tone of unbridled disdain, it made me flinch; and that was just his voice. He was taller than Sirius, and was glaring down at him, his well-muscled arms looking massive, folded tightly together across his chest like that.

For a long time, the two of them remained like that; all the while I remained cowering behind one of my psychology teachers. At last, Sirius left and Lucius turned back to me. "It looks like you'll be needing a place to stay…" I didn't question him as he lead me through several hallways and across one of the lawns to a different building, and then through even more hallways. Finally, he stopped at a door and knocked. I noted the golden numbers on the door registered somewhere in my mind as vaguely familiar, but I couldn't seem to place why.

Some one finally came to the door, clad in gray sweatpants and a white shirt. "Yes?" His tone changed immediately upon seeing us. "Lucius? Remus?" He looked at my face, frowning. "God, what happened?"

I didn't answer; Lucius nudged me into the dorm before explaining how he found me. He apologized afterwards, hoping that my stay wouldn't be too much of a burden on the TA. After Severus had assured him that it was absolutely not a problem, the blonde had leaned in and kissed his forehead. They bid each other good night, Severus' hand lingering on the older man's, as if he wished him to stay. However, after a long moment, Lucius nodded towards me, slipped out of Severus' grasp, and closed the door behind him. At last, the teacher's assistant turned his attention back to me, a faint blush on his cheeks. "What happened?"

Not wanting to answer _that_ question, my eyes narrowed. "I thought you liked Lily…" My voice sounded raw and rough; after all, I had kept my mouth shut since the run-in with Sirius.

This immediately made him turn a vivid shade of red, but he managed to stay focused. "Really, what happened? Oh! You were wonderful on stage tonight, really you were—… _oh_… does this have to do with Sirius?"

I gave a curt nod, wandering after him as he lead me down a small hallway which lead to the bedroom. He explained that his roommate was on his off semester, so I could use the other bed. After about an hour's worth of empty conversation, which was probably some attempt to cheer me up, Severus left me with my own thoughts, while he fell asleep.

I curled up against a pillow, mentally beating myself, and my current mental image of Sirius, up. Why on earth did I have to get up on that stage? It all could have been avoided if I hadn't have sang. Somewhere along this line of thinking, I at last succumbed to sleep.

* * *

When I woke up, patches of sunlight were filtering in through the blinds; Severus wasn't there. By the time I found a clock, it was already eleven thirty; I moaned, this would put me an hour late for class. While I was freaking about what clothes I would wear, I stumbled upon a note on the kitchen table.

_Remus,_

_I hope you're feeling better. Sorry for not waking you, I thought you could do with the extra sleep. Don't worry about psych, Lucius and I will talk to Dr. McGonagall about it; I'm sure she'll understand that you're not feeling well._

_Anyways, I'll see you when class gets out; if you're hungry when I get back, we can go get something to eat. And until then, feel free to help yourself to the fridge._

_—Sev_

_P.S. I'll tell you more about Lucius later! _

I let a small laugh escape my lips at the last sentence, however, that didn't deter from the bitter feeling that was boiling inside of ever since I had seen the massive bruise on my cheek when I had checked the bathroom. I was pissed; why the hell had he punched me? Because I had said something about him fucking Matt? But wasn't what they did? I hadn't been rude or anything; I was just stating the obvious.

My stomach growled, sounding not only hungry, but irritated, like it would rather me focus on what was inside the refrigerator instead of what Sirius' motives were. At last complying with its demands, I walked over to the fridge, taking a look inside of it. I settled on an orange before taking a seat on the fold-out couch.

What was I going to do now? I had at least an hour before Severus came home, and here I was still in my boxers and sweatshirt. After thinking for a few minutes, I figured I could borrow a pair of Sev's sweatpants, make a quick run to my dorm, grab some supplies, like clothes, towels, and my books, come back here, take a quick shower, and be ready to go before psychology was over. So, once I finished the orange, I started my hunt for a pair of sweatpants… once I had secured them, I began my semi-perilous trip to my dorm room.

* * *

"How can you drink that?"

I smirked; that answer was easy. "It's black. Like my heart."

"Remus…" Severus gave me a warning look as he picked at his pizza with feigned curiosity.

Merely shrugging, I leaned back against the red faux-leather in the Pizza Hut booth. "I'm not trying to be bitter, but that's what my little brother always used to tell me. The only way some one can drink coffee black is if their heart is black…" I paused, hesitating on continuing. It would only probably irritate Severus more, but hell, I was hurt, which entitled me to complaining rights. "However, in light of recent events, I think I'll call him and let him know he's right." I brought the styrofoam cup to my lips, letting the dark liquid seep into my mouth. It was a ridiculous choice of beverage for the middle of May, no less, for lunch, but I needed something to cancel out the light headache from the rum last night.

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "You should have just punched him back."

"Do I look like the type of guy who would punch Sirius Black and actually hurt him?"

"I don't know. You looked pretty vicious that day you were telling off…" He paused, looking at me, hoping I would know who he was talking about. "You know, that one guy Sirius dated for… a week, was it?"

"Kevin?" I suggested, wrinkling my nose. Anyone that had dated Sirius needed a good telling off, in my opinion, but so far, it had only been Kevin.

Severus slapped his hands together, and then pointed at me. "Yes! That's the one. I thought you could have taken him. Oh. So I was thinking, has there been anyone you've been at least semi-okay with Sirius dating?"

I swirled the coffee around in the cup, thinking for a moment. "Eh. I guess I liked Samantha."

"Ooh. A girl? Why?"

"Well, for starters she wasn't a total bimbo like the rest of the girls... or guys..." I added as an afterthought. "She was smarter than most people on campus, she could carry on an intelligent conversation, plus, since she was a senior, she was more mature about the whole dating thing. It was a good change of pace..."

"Oh, wait, you mean Samantha Michaels? How'd Sirius manage to snag her? ...how'd she even fall for him?"

Nodding, I also shrugged. "Unfortunately for the brilliant women of HU, Sirius went through a smart-school-girl phase, and she, unfortunately was rather endowed."

Severus snorted. "Aw, Rem's jealous because he's flat-chested."

I sighed again, setting the coffee down. "Eat the pizza, will you? It's going to get cold and I've seen the inside of your refrigerator, you don't eat cold pizza." Under the bowl of fruit I had mooched out of earlier, there were several boxes of untouched pizza in the shelf below. It was kind of pathetic; he could have started his own pizza place.

He shook his head, shoving the plate towards me. "No, I'm not that hungry. You eat it."

"It's okay; I'm not that hungry either…" It wasn't like I was a germ-a-phobe and didn't want to eat his pizza… it was just whenever I feel particularly pessimistic, I lost my appetite. Now, I was pretty certain that I wasn't going to be hungry for a long time…

* * *

Once more, the over-observant Severus had noticed that far off look in my eyes, and at the close of our psychology class, he nudged my leg with his knee. "You're thinking about him again, aren't you? How long has it been anyways?"

Three months, two weeks, and five days.

Not that I was counting or anything.

I just shrugged, shoving my books and other classroom supplies back into my bag. "I wasn't thinking about him," I lied. "I just kind of zoned out… I didn't sleep well last night."

The answer caused my friend to let out a little sigh of relief. In his opinion, sleeping problems were easier to fix than boy problems.

But I guess my lie wasn't much of a lie after all. I did have trouble falling asleep the night before… but that was because every night I went to bed half-wishing I was still living back in my own dorm, with James, Peter, and Sirius. Especially with Sirius.

Nothing was wrong with living with Severus, I mean. He was a good friend to have around and did his best to try and cheer me up. So, I often gave him that small satisfaction of letting him think I was recovering from my Sirius-melt-down.

But I wasn't. I hadn't seen Sirius in three mon— a long time, and it was driving me crazy. Did he not want to see me? Was he glad I left? Did he even care that every morning I did die a little, wanting to know if anybody would find me somebody to love?

A soft sigh escaped my lips as I stood shortly after Severus; we were going to go grab yet another pizza. I wasn't sure why we always went to Pizza Hut. It was like Sev had an undying passion for the place, but he never finished any of it, leading to a vicious looking army of abandoned pizza boxes in the refrigerator. While we waited for Lucius, who I had also become relatively good friends with, I heard my name called over the soft chatter of the other students.

I looked around, still not seeing the source of the voice.

"Mr. Lupin, may I have a word?"

Oh, it was Dr. McGonagall. I headed down the steps, shouldering my tan book bag. "Of course… is there anything wrong?" When I reached her desk, she was straightening a stack of papers, wearing a plaid suit, much as she did everyday. I couldn't help but wonder if the only thing she wore was plaid…

"I should be asking you the same question." She replied simply, moving the papers to the center of her desk before pushing her half-crescent glasses further up her nose.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you and Mr. Black talking?"

I groaned inwardly; this was the only problem of having a teacher who took the time to get to know a little bit about all of her students… even if they hadn't been her class for over two and half years. Sirius and I had taken an Intro to Psychology class together and by the end of it, anyone could tell that we were close friends... so it wouldn't honestly surprise me if she had pegged me for liking him. I was, however, surprised she even remembered who he was. "Um, no actually," I began, rubbing at my arm. "We're not…"

She nodded once, now rummaging through one of her drawers. "Did you two have a fight?"

I opened my mouth, ready to blurt out everything, but I shut it again as she handed me a manila envelope. Instead, I nodded, pulling out a few sheets of papers. I recognized them as the some of the tests we had taken over the past couple of weeks.

"I thought so."

"Why?"

Dr. McGonagall slipped the top paper from my hands, reminding me what the paper was about. "This is the questionnaire that we did for word recall," she glanced up at me, making sure I was ready for whatever it was I was somehow supposed to be ready for. "List the first word that comes to your mind after the following words. One- Black: Sirius. Two- Music: Sirius singing White Lion in the shower. Three- Happiness: his smile lighting up the room. Four- Game: Yatzee… he always cheats. Five- Food: His passion for Lily's spaghetti and meatballs…" She looked back up to me, her magnified eyes scanning my face. "Need I go on?"

My cheeks were warm. Funny… I never remembered writing that… I coughed a little before shaking my head.

"The others are similar… perhaps you should consider patching up your little friendship. I would hate to have to mark your grades down because of this…"

I nodded. "Y-Yeah… thanks, Dr. I'll… I'll go do that."

A smile crossed her lips as she waved me on, motioning to Severus and Lucius with a nod of her head. "Go on, get out of here. You all enjoy your lunch!" She called to all of us.

"Thanks," Severus replied; Lucius just gave a silent wave. "What did she ask you?" The younger of the two asked me, looking at me with piqued interest as we walked out of the lecture hall.

I felt myself blush, so I rubbed at my cheek, hoping he would assume that to be the reason for its redness. "Just some stuff about one of the tests…"

He looked confused. "Why did you do badly on it?"

"No. That's not it… she just… err, wanted to talk about it."

Lucius leaned forward, peering at me from behind Severus, strands of fair blonde hair falling in his eyes, as we walked down the stairs to the lower level of the building. "Remus," he began casually, his low tenor voice echoing off the stairwell. "Dr. McGonagall never just talks about how people do on their tests. What'd she say?"

"Nothing…" I insisted again, quickening my pace to get to the door before the other two did. When I pressed down on the handle, pushing the large door open, I was greeted with a blinding ray of sunlight hitting me in the face and the sounds of a large group chanting 'fight'.

Once I could finally see, the group didn't appear to be as big as I thought it would have been; only a group of about seven or eight people surrounding three tall guys. 'Two versus one?' I thought disdainfully, 'Well, that's unfair.' I bit my lip, steadied my resolve, and dropped my book bag on the stairs. "Hey! Why don't you all act your age for once?" A few people in the wall of people turned to stare at me, but my words didn't seem to inflict too much damage. Scowling, I pulled one of my legs to my chest, tugging off one of my Converse.

Before this sounds any weirder than it actually is, let me explain. This is what my family and I call the Converse Phenomenon. As anyone who has ever known me might say, I have terrible aim. I can't throw a football, baseball— or anything that matter— to save my life… except for my shoes. It sounds weird. It _is_ weird. But if I aim for some one with a shoe in my hand, I'll be damned if it _doesn't_ hit them. It always has.

"Hey!" I shouted again, throwing the black Chuck Taylor as hard as I could at one of the fighters. It beamed him in the head; he swore loudly, turning to look to see who had thrown it. "Why don't you all grow up?" With that, I went storming off into the circle, with the intention of giving the assholes what I thought they had coming. And to get my shoe back, of course.

"Remus!" Severus hissed, beckoning me back to the stairs, but it was too late for that.

However, when I got inside of the little circle, I never expected to see Sirius there. Especially for him to be the one who was bruised and bleeding, the one with grass stains on his jeans, the one with his black hair ruffled and tangled. Something inside of me exploded, as I reached the guy I had hit in the head. "What the hell did you do him?" I shouted, shoving him in the chest.

"Re-Remus, don't…" Sirius said softly, wiping at the corner of his bloody mouth with his sleeve.

I didn't recognize the people who were beating the shit out of my best friend, but the other one of them just scoffed and looked at me like I was an idiot. "He's a fucking queer, he had it coming…"

_Crack_.

"Augh! Fuck, man!"

"Oooooohhhhhhh…"

"_Remus_!"

"Oh my god…"

I don't think I had ever enjoyed the sound of something breaking so much in my life. I don't think I had ever enjoyed the fact that I had been the one who broke it. I never thought I could hit that hard. A scowl pulled at my facial features, my blood rising. No one would ever say that about Sirius, ever again; I would personally see to beating the shit out of them. "_What was that_?" I growled, cracking the knuckles of the fist I had used to break the attacker's nose.

The guy I had hit glared at me, blood running down his face. "I said he's a _fucking queer_…" With that, he lunged at me, his fist hitting my jaw. It hurt like hell, but at the angle he had hit me, it didn't do any major damage.

"And you're a fucking asshole!" I wasn't about to let this go; I feigned punching his face only throw a reverse punch to his unprotected stomach. My plan of continuing to put this idiot his place was cut short, Sirius had came up behind me, his arms wrapping under my arms, staying them. Lucius was now breaking up the group, demanding they all leave, including the attackers. Severus had shown up raving on about how stupid I was, but at the same time, he wore a large grin, suddenly he just stopped talking, punching me lightly in the ribs.

"Bullshit that you can't take any one! What the hell was that?" He laughed, looking like a small kid on Christmas morning.

I would have answered… but Sirius' face was against my neck, and it was making it a little hard to think, let alone breathe.

"What the hell _was_ that…?" He asked, his breath caressing my throat.

Swallowing, I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. Luckily I didn't have to come up with an answer; Lucius had come back, and was scanning us both over, his eyebrows knitted together, worry marring his pretty face.

"Sirius… what happened?"

However, Sirius didn't get a chance to answer either. I stumbled forward, staggering under my friend's weight.

"S-Sirius? H-Hey! Are you all right? _Sirius_!"

* * *

_Gray eyes blinked open, the world around him blurry and unfocused._

_"Well, good morning! Had enough of your beauty sleep yet?"_

_He recognized the voice at once and smiled. Or at least, tried to smile; his face felt numb and tight, and the smile turned out to be more of a grimace._

_"Oh, good Lord. On second thought, why don't you get some more of that beauty sleep?" Remus smiled, readjusting a warm towel on Sirius' stomach. "How are you feeling?"_

_"A… all r—" Sirius stopped, as if reconsidering. "Okay… I feel like shit…"_

_The blonde nodded. "Well, that's to be expected. You totally got knocked around back there…" His smiled faded. "What happened? You're _you_, Sirius… I know you can throw a punch… why didn't you fight back? And to think they had a knife too... Sirius... you could have been hurt really, really badly."_

_Sirius didn't answer; he merely turned his head away from Remus, spying another bed, Remus' bed… the bed that had been empty for three months, two weeks, and five days… not that he had been counting. He briefly wondered how he had managed to get back here, but that was cut short by a sharp pain shooting from his torso. Remus had nudged the damp towel into the gash and it hurt._

_They sat in silence for a long time; by the time some one finally spoke, it had been almost half an hour._

_"You know…" Remus finally whispered, his fingers spreading beyond the confines of the towel, along Sirius' ribs, and gently around the light gash in his side. "When I chose that song… I already had found somebody to love…" Golden eyes were staring down at his hand, trying to avoid Sirius' prying gaze. "I was just kind of hoping he would finally realize that I was waiting for him…" He offered a weak smile, daring a glance at Sirius' face._

_"That was really stupid of you… getting into that fight back there. You could have gotten yourself hurt. Look at your jaw, it's already swelling…"_

_"Sirius…" Remus sighed, moving his hands to cover his own face. Was that it? He was stupid for getting involved? Great. _Simply fucking great.

_A sigh slipped through Sirius' lips as he sat up, wincing as skin around the gash relaxed into it. Band-aids speckled his face, his left hand was wrapped in gauze, but otherwise, he wasn't in that bad of a shape. "I can't be with you like that…" He whispered, watching Remus tense up in his chair. "And this is why… I don't want you to get hurt because of me—"_

_Remus suddenly stood up, biting down on his lip in order to smile. "It's okay, I get it… it's fine. Just why don't you lie down again? Where are James and Peter, anyways? Oh, that's right they're in their off semester…" He had wandered out of the room, rambling on about James and Peter being rather unreliable and unavailable in a rather uncanny sort of way. "Haha, alliteration..." _

_Frowning, Sirius ran his good hand through his raven colored hair. "That's not what I meant…" He whispered, falling back on his bed with a defeated sigh. 'I want to be with you… I just can't… it would kill me if anything ever happened to you… you just don't get it…'_

_When it was nearing eight thirty, almost seven hours since the incident had occurred, Remus mumbled something about having to go back to Severus'. He left Sirius the room number and the phone number, just in case he needed anything, all the while inwardly praying he could have the night alone to just wallow in self pity._

_First, a long shower, then straight to hiding under the sheets, wishing something would change. Remus frowned, hoping Sev didn't pry too much tonight; he didn't feel like explaining things._

_About an hour and a half later, a sweats-clad Severus meandered to the door, opening it and peering out into the hallway with a surprised expression. "Err… Sirius? Is everything all right?"_

_He ignored the question, holding onto his side. "Is Remus here?"_

_Severus nodded, his jade eyes scanning the young man in front of him. "Yeah, but he's been in the shower since he came back… do you want to wait for him?"_

_"Yes… and no." Brushing around the TA and ignoring his confused complaints, he headed towards the sound of running water. He slipped into the bathroom, immediately spying the blonde through the condensation on the glass walls, leaning dejectedly against the only tiled wall. His heart throbbed painfully, seeing the look on Remus' face._

_Stepping on the backsides of his shoes, he kicked them off, and quickly pulled off his socks, and opened the shower door. Stormy gray eyes took in the startled look on his friend's face, but he slipped his arms around Remus' skinny waist, water beginning to seep in through his jeans and jacket._

_"S-Sirius… why— I thought—?"_

_"Dumb ass… you didn't get what I was trying to tell you earlier…" Sirius whispered, his lips moving against the blonde's jaw. "I never said I didn't want you…" Lips moved to meet soft pale ones, which opened eagerly with unbridled hunger and want. Tongues lapped at each other daring explore every inch of the other's mouth, hardly pausing to breathe._

_Remus moved to place his hands on Sirius' face, but Sirius' hand grabbed his wrists pinning them to the cool tile above the blonde's head. His free, bandaged hand snaked along Remus' torso, down to his thigh. Sirius felt his insides clench as Remus moaned against his mouth, arching his back farther into him._

_There was a soft knock at the door; Severus poked his head in. "You know, I bet you're having a wonderful time, and everything… but as a general rule of thumb… no sex in the showers, okay?"_

_Sirius let out a small chuckle while Remus laughed; now snuggling into Sirius. Sirius was completely soaked now, but he didn't seem to notice. The only thing he saw was the sweet little honey blonde in front of him, clinging onto him as if he was the only thing keeping him there. It seemed true enough._

_Three months, two weeks, and five days._

_It was too long. Never again did he want to be separated from the person he cared about most. His voice was low when he spoke, but it carried a soft, warm note to it. "Remus, I found you somebody to love." With that, Sirius pressed his lips against Remus' holding him lovingly in his arms._


End file.
